Day After the Super Bowl Tomfoolery, Shenanigans, Talking Points
By Joe Nardone
Feb 2, 2014; East Rutherford, NJ, USA; Seattle Seahawks outside linebacker Malcolm Smith holds the Vince Lombardi Trophy after Super Bowl XLVIII against the Denver Broncos at MetLife Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
We are a college basketball site. We like to talk about college basketball. Alas, the NFL rules the world and the Super Bowl will dominate the next 24 hour news cycle. Heck to the yeah, it will probably be even longer than that, but we are trying to be glass half full type of people.
To take advantage of your love of the NFL (and to hopefully get a few more eyeballs to college hoops), we wanted to use our ESP powers to help let you know what kind of shenanigans wait for you in the morning.
Hangover- You kept hearing that the Super Bowl was an unofficial holiday, but that doesn’t mean you were suppose to drink like a dope. Good for you, irresponsible forty-year-old man. Not only are you going to awake smelling like a goat who had sex with a lobster, but you will also get fired from your job as a portable toilet salesman for groping a lunch-lady out of confusion.
Water cooler talk – Manning stinks and he is a choker. His brother also looks like a derpface. Let’s continue to laugh, make fun of and criticize all things about him while we are only a few short hours away from being written up at our job for milking what we thought was a cow, but was actually Lou’s secretary.
Website reading – A few hours at work and you decide to see what all your favorite blogs are talking about. Mostly Manning legacy nonsense, but with a sprinkle of retirement rumor doom. We also find out what your favorite high-volume blogger thinks. Because, I mean, who doesn’t value the opinion of a guy who only writes 200 word posts everyday? Insightful stuff, man.
Social Media – Oddly enough Facebook still has pictures of other people’s kids splattered all over the god damn place. Twitter keeps RTing stuff from people you don’t follow about stats that are pretty irrelevant. Denver has two of the biggest blowouts in the history of the NFL? Man, that is really great stuff. They must lose a draft pick for that or something….
Your boss’ take – Those rascals from Seattle one-upped his good pal P-to-the-Manning and he is none to pleased. Nothing says first quarter furlough like your boss taking revenge for Denver’s loss out on Larry in accounting.
Skip Bayless – If you watch, listen or read anything about him OR RT, complain consistently about his stuff (meaning, you actually pay too much attention to him) or dream about having sex with him in a Burger King stall, I see you, pretend insightful bloggers.
10 Takeaway Article Slideshow things (sans this one, of course) – 10 takeaways? How about Seattle was better and the world can move on to college basketball or whatever it is that we do when we aren’t searching for new porn on YouPorn?
Poop- It is going to smell like that combination of a goat who had sex with a lobster, but mixed with some wings and blue cheese because you are a filthy animal.
Commercial Breakdowns – They all stunk. You don’t, I don’t, Walter White don’t, Domino my cat don’t, need a single stupid, snark infested breakdown about it being all down hill after the first Doritos commercial. Sadly, as I write this I am sure elventy-billion websites have already released them.
CBB Sites Cashing in on Super Bowl Buzz- For the love of Sam Cassell, ya caught me ya dirty ole Jerkface Magoo.