Snow is the devil. The only people who like the fluffy stuff is kids. They use it to go sleigh riding, make snow angels and even to form circular objects (sometimes referred to as snowballs) to hurl at other kids who don’t know any better. All of that is in the name of fun, I guess. Want to know what else is fun? College basketball.
But snow ruins such things. It has happened in the past, yet never with such frequency, but last night’s Duke Blue Devils vs North Carolina Tar Heels game was postponed because of the snow. Because, you know, snow is evil. No, Snow is evil.
Listen, Snow. This place isn’t big enough for the two of us. You aren’t even the funnest kind of white, powdery substance. You don’t get anyone but kids amped, excited or feeling good about life. Instead, Snow, you make grown people scared to drive their automobiles, even older people go on milk binges and you have even been known to take a person’s life here and there.
Snow, you are a murderer.
Really, as much as you try to distance yourself from the other white stuff, you are so similar to Tony Montana’s favorite recreational drug.
I have had enough, though. I am drawing the line. Not a line (that is for the other white powder), but the line. It is either you are me in this Snowmageddon. The weather man on my picture-box tells me we are getting 10-inches today. And while that would normally excite my lady,
she doesn’t want that kind of 10-inches bothering her insides. I mean she is all kinds of worried.
So here we are, Snow. Just you and I. Two fellas just trying to make ends meet. I, a hard-working low-level blogger (ranked as the 239482985th best dark haired blogger in Wilkes-Barre) and you, an evil force of nature. One of us has to go.
Oh wait. Hold on a second. My kids want to go play in the snow. I’ll catch you later, Snow.