DePaul Wins! DePaul Wins! DePaul Wins! (For Real. We Are Serious)

It is time to celebrate!!!!!!!! Mandatory Credit: Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

The DePaul Blue Demons won against a pretty good out of conference basketball team on Friday night. No! Wait! I’m not kidding! This isn’t a satire piece. This is for realz — with a “z” because we are hip.

In what was about as ugly a basketball game that can be watched without committing suicide, the Blue Demons were able to suck just a little bit less to beat the Northwestern Wildcats, 57-56.

Oh, and this happened (H/T to the Dad. Not so much the screaming kid):

With neither team shooting over .40 percent from the floor and combing to go 28-52 from the charity stripe, the only offensive thing about this game was the style of play on the floor (see what I did there? I’m cool).

There was some importance to this basketball game. Both programs call Chicagoland home. Northwestern is thought to be on — at least an eventual — upswing with their brand new head coach. DePaul is, well, waiting for Oliver Purnell’s contract to run out so they can throw him to the curb.

Still, this is a legit, good in-state win for the Blue Demons.

Truth be told, DePaul really needed this win. Like, as in the same way a professional streetwalker desperately needs to visit a free clinic after a 12 hour workday. With the Big East Conference schedule looming and all the cupcake opponents behind them, DePaul really bolstered their future resume for the CIT.

The Blue Demons start their in-conference schedule against Georgetown on the 31st. So, um, yes. It is almost time for that annual tradition. DePaul being featured as the Big East Conference Bottom Feeders in the off, off, off, off, off-Broadway play, DePaul is Stinky. Hell, it’s not even close to being Second City type of stuff. Really more like 490539028598239589385th City.

Am I right or am I right?

(F-you, crickets)