Lobsters invade Madison Square Garden, NIT cancelled
By Joe Nardone
Madison Square Garden. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports
In a not so interesting turn of events, the NIT is cancelled due to Madison Square Garden being invaded by a bunch of lobsters. This is according to a John Goodman report.
No official word from NIT officials yet, but it is believed that the NCAA Tournament Selection Committee bred these particular lobsters to create issues for the National Invitation Tournament. Which, if you all remember, is how the NCAA Tournament became more important than the NIT in the first place.
NCAA main-man-in-charge, Mark Emmert, is apparently none to pleased. When reached for comment Emmert said, (we are paraphrasing)”ouch” and he added in some form of gargle after that. Which, really, is how Emmert normally answers all questions.
There are larger concerns than just the NIT being cancelled. Emmert, as well as the rest of the governing body of college sports, is looking into the eligibility of each lobster involved. Henry, third team all-lobster, is a redshirt senior, but is looking for a sixth year due to his issues adjusting to humans and inability to properly shake hands (which is consider unsportsmanlike conduct).
It is also worth noting that the leader of the lobsters, Marty Jannetty, was a former WWF Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion. Marty could no be reached for comment.
Crews are currently inside Madison Square Garden attempting to reason with the lobsters, but they are now demanding Long John Silvers for lunch.
We will keep you updated as this story unfolds and even worse April Fool’s Day jokes run rampant. At least mine had a Marty Jannetty reference. So there’s that.