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NBA Draft 2019: 5 worst draft selections on the night

By Alex Weber

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JUNE 20: (L-R) NBA Draft prospects Kevin Porter Jr., Nicolas Claxton, Sekou Doumbouya, Goga Bitazde, Keldon Johnson, Nassir Little, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, Rui Hachimuri, Jarrett Culver, Cam Reddish, Coby White, Zion Williamson, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, Ja Morant, De'Andre Hunter, Darius Garland, Brandon Clarke, Romeo Langford, Jaxson Hayes, Tyler Herro, Bol Bol, PJ Washington, Matisse Thybulle and Mfiondu Kabengele stand on stage with NBA Commissioner Adam Silver before the start of the 2019 NBA Draft at the Barclays Center on June 20, 2019 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NEW YORK - JUNE 20: (L-R) NBA Draft prospects Kevin Porter Jr., Nicolas Claxton, Sekou Doumbouya, Goga Bitazde, Keldon Johnson, Nassir Little, Nickeil Alexander-Walker, Rui Hachimuri, Jarrett Culver, Cam Reddish, Coby White, Zion Williamson, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, Ja Morant, De'Andre Hunter, Darius Garland, Brandon Clarke, Romeo Langford, Jaxson Hayes, Tyler Herro, Bol Bol, PJ Washington, Matisse Thybulle and Mfiondu Kabengele stand on stage with NBA Commissioner Adam Silver before the start of the 2019 NBA Draft at the Barclays Center on June 20, 2019 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images) /
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KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – MARCH 29: Cameron Johnson #13 of the North Carolina Tar Heels battles for the ball against the Auburn Tigers during the 2019 NCAA Basketball Tournament Midwest Regional at Sprint Center on March 29, 2019 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI – MARCH 29: Cameron Johnson #13 of the North Carolina Tar Heels battles for the ball against the Auburn Tigers during the 2019 NCAA Basketball Tournament Midwest Regional at Sprint Center on March 29, 2019 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images) /

Cam Johnson (Suns)

Thursday’s performance by the Phoenix Suns was impressive. I mean truly remarkable. Just a majestic string of boneheaded decisions, all culminating–and really defined by–selecting Cam Johnson 11th in the 2019 NBA Draft. I have questions.

How many hallucinogens are pumping through Robert Sarver’s bloodstream? 7? 8? Was he pulling tabs of acid like they were strips of gum on Thursday morning in preparation for his swan song, his walk-off, his I’m actually an insane coke addict who escaped from the 1970s NBA and I’m pulling off my own Ted Stepien impersonation. This is the most embarrassing day from an ownership circle I’ve ever seen. You saw how animated I got five minutes ago hashing out Washington’s mess, and the Sarver Suns somehow topped them!

The Suns tanked an entire year to get 23-year-old Cam Johnson! Congrats guys, you got a completely one-dimensional player with past injuries to BOTH of his hips; and oh by the way, he’s older than Devin Booker, your franchise’s only star of the past half-dozen years. They traded away the sixth pick and the possibility of Jarrett Culver or Coby White for Johnson and Dario Saric! Are you kidding me, Phoenix? Selecting Johnson at 11 is the most shocking pick of my entire basketball-watching existence. I can’t remember ever being more baffled than I was when Adam Silver hissed Cam Johnson’s name. As a Kentucky fan and Devin Booker supporter, I’m disgusted. Hey Devin, congratulations on another 26 point-per-game season and serving as the only beacon of purpose whatsoever for our hopeless franchise. As a reward, we got you another wing who is sure to never start on a playoff team, an inconsequential European power forward, and Ty Jerome–the best player we got from the NBA Draft, at pick 24, in a season where, once again, we intentionally lost 60 games. You’re welcome! 

It’s unfathomable to be this bad at running a basketball team. I hate nothing more than casual fans claiming they would act as better executives than those in actual NBA front offices, but I know I would’ve fared better last night than Robert Sarver and his army of clowns. I hadn’t even mentioned it yet, but Sarver just gave away his second best scorer earlier in the afternoon. He called Indiana and delivered a pitch along the lines of “this T.J. Warren guy scores the ball a lot; and frankly, that helps us win, so we need to get rid of him. We really shouldn’t be paying a good basketball player $12 million a year. We’ll even include the 32nd pick for no reason if you take Warren off our hands. Deal?” AHHHHHHHHGGGHHH (that’s me coming within seconds of bashing my head against the hotel window).

I think we have the plot of Primal Fear playing out over in Arizona. Sarver’s about to get accused of killing some priest and when he’s called to court he’s going to plead insanity. All the evidence is right in front of us. This time, his lawyer can argue “well, Judge, this man has obviously lost his mind, just look at what he did on the day of the 2019 NBA Draft.” The list of reprehensible transactions Phoenix has made over the past few seasons is longer than all of Cam Johnson’s 6-foot-9 frame. And add him to that list. Unbelievable.

Any complaints to add to mine? Or future suggestions for movie references? Comment below or tweet me @Weber2MG. Any and all thoughts are appreciated!

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